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As you all may have noticed, cracks are popping up all around the hotel nowadays. At the writing of this article, of the 33 public locales in the world, 9 of them have some kind of structural damage. That's 27.27% of our hotel. What could be causing these cracks, you might ask. I wrote this article to explain the 4 theories I have encountered and hatched about them. Here goes.
THEORY 1 - Construction
This theory wasn't made up by me, but it's the most common rumor flying around the hotel. The cracks are merely cute additions by the powers that be to denote construction damage. As you should know, the restaurant will be opening this Friday, so it is conceivable that the cracks are merely show.
"But that doesn't explain the cop street preacher!" you may be saying. You're right. It doesn't. That's where this theory is lacking, maybe I'm missing something, or maybe the cracks simply aren't because of virtual construction.
THEORY 2 - New World
This theory both explains the cracks and the street preacher. Officer Chuck Rowst was roaming around the hotel the other day preaching a new low-TOS world, "grading" everyone on their fitness to enter it. Comments similar to "You can come to the new world because you don't suck up, but you can't because you do." (This isn't an exact quote, but it conveys the same message sent by him.) My theory is the cracks will open up to become a doorway or a link to the new world. This world, as suggested by the Officer, will be a low-or-no-TOS one, but this remains to be seen - the theory itself could be false. However, this is a probable theory considering it explains both the cracks and the officer. Another thing that supports this theory is art resources. Imbedded in the crack image is another image of a large crack (big enough for an avatar to fit through). To pull this off, the powers that be need only change a minor thing in the image to make it "bigger."
THEORY 3 - Earthquake Fury's Return
Yes, you read right. Oldbies should remember the elusive Earthquake Fury as the maker of the now-deceased Earthquake Patch. Those who don't know the Earthquake story, here's a bit of background. A patch was made that had a few new and useless functions, and was distributed by an avatar named Earthquake Fury. However, this patch was not only a patch. It was a trojan horse that, when installed on your PC, allowed anyone else inworld to control your avatar. Some of the hidden functions included stealing the avatar's head, stealing all tokens, viewing pocket contents, stealing a specific item from your pocket, and, if a Valet had the patch installed, it was possible to unmute yourself. Nobody has ever seen Earthquake Fury, and a few theories resulted from his patch scandal, the most interesting being the one of FSBA making and distributing the patch in an effort to scare everyone from using patches again. The cracks we all see could be some clue or evidence of FSBA being involved with the EQ patch, and they're using it to help launch a new patch-run world.
THEORY 4 - The giant spider theory
Valet Kenn's theory of the whole thing is a giant spider came and started eating, or crushing, or doing something to the hotel to make cracks in it. No proof of this theory has been found so far, but I'll keep you posted! (Nick and Nack need to get their acts together and get rid of that spider!)
Those are the theories going around. I think the most interesting two are #2 and #3, moreso #3 because I'm still scratching my head about the whole EQ thing. And, contrary to belief at the time, the author was not the writer of that intricately devilish piece of hacked software. I hope you all think about these theories, and I can't wait until this Friday to find out the truth! Lets all get our Auld Lang Synes and Sparkle Blasters to kill the giant spider!!!
Tigereye
(Butthead cracks up)
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